Hi there. Did you end up on this blog via an external source? You can read the introduction to the topic Borderline Personality Disorder combined with Asking for attention here. The full examples of a person having Borderline and the way her environment responds to it, you can read here.
Analysis
Story 1: wrong way of wanting to solve the problem
Natasha: mom I cannot do it anymore, my
life is over! I am devastated of all the concerns and I cannot sleep. *cries*
This right there is a trigger of annoyance or the outsider, the person
having Borderline Personality Disorder thinks that everything falls apart and
gets stuck in her own self-pity. Of course this is really annoying for the
outsider. You could get annoyed to death that a person can think like that about
his or her life and you as an outsider can only observe and feeling powerless.
But if you put it like this, you cannot laugh a lot really when someone you
care about has died or if someone just lost his or her relationship.
Yes, that is how intense a person with Borderline feels the pain and the
sadness. The damage in the emotional perception of Natasha is severe that she
keeps on craving for confirmation and love of which she is lacking at that
moment. This is a recurring pattern. This seems strange, but it is true and it
remains an empty space. Outsiders can fill this empty space by using simple
words and giving a hug more often. Asking for it is something people with
Borderline will not do, because it is being perceived as being weak. Natasha
does this, because she wants to have faith in the people.
Let’s take a closer look at the words.
Natasha: “Mom I cannot do it anymore”
She does not see anything anymore, does she wear black shades? Or is she
really getting depressed? Be careful, think about medication or try to take her
problems really seriously. “My life is over”. This can indicate that Natasha
has thoughts of killing herself and do not let the person get stuck in this and
take her cry for attention really really
seriously! “I am devastated by all concerns and I cannot sleep”. The person
is so restless by all of the thoughts that he or she cannot sleep, you could do
something about it by doing simple things.
You can do things like taking a shower for fifteen minutes before going
to sleep, turning off your computer thirty minutes before you go to sleep. Yes this
is a tough one, but still it is for the better. You can also smoke a cigarette
if you smoke or listen to music on your MP3 player or watch a nice movie. Some things
that help are to bathe one hour prior to sleeping or to drink some tea. *cries*
yes a person with Borderline can be complicated.
Mother: “Natasha, go upstairs now!” a
feeling of rejection number 1 “I want you to go to sleep right now!”
‘But don’t you get it that I cannot (if you do not understand me)’ it is
late. Shoot I keep on making it worse (self destructive thought). Words are
important to a person with Borderline. Every single word is taken extremely seriously
when they are in a self destructive mood.
Natasha: “But mom I need you!”
A couple of simple words or a hug is all that it takes in most cases. “Don’t
you see it?”. Try to show it more clearly that you understand the person.
Mother: “Yes I can see that, but you have
to go to sleep now, I need rest too!”
This is entirely justified of the mother. Sometimes it is no longer
possible to have a good talk between the person having Borderline and the
mother. See, the mother has emotions too and this is the way it goes a lot of
times. So as a person with Borderline, try to think about it in more detail,
you do suck energy out of people, but it all has its reasons. There are two
sides to every story.
Natasha “*swallows* But I cannot sleep, I
am sad, I am so scared! Please help me!”
This is the aspect that people perceive as weak. As a person with borderline,
try not to put it like that, this will make people walk away from you even
more. I suggest putting it on an effective way. For example, I cannot sleep
really well, could I have a cup of tea please? Just by saying this is a whole
different way of acting and perhaps it is hard when feeling so sad, but you
took a good step.
Mother: “I want you to stop this right
now, that miserable behavior of yours! Stop it, it is enough! Upstairs, now!”
The person with Borderline feels like she is being attacked. She feels
guilty and insecure, because the other person says that his or her behavior is
not right. The person hates herself and thinks that her mother does not like
her anymore. This happens because of fear and because this has happened in the
past by traumas or other things that still need to be processed. She cannot
help it, it still needs to be processed and the brain keeps on repeating a
pattern that fills up the damage, just to give it a name.
In your past, something must have happened and got to you big time. In
the present you can still experience the same feelings while it is not
necessary. You still experience feelings from past events? Go see a
professional, but stick to reality. The people around you love you, no
matter how weird it might sound to you right now.
Natasha: *screams everything all together
or takes an overdose or goes cutting herself*
In this case it depends on how hard you want to fight to stop this from
happening.
How to go on from here? You can read that in my next blogs.
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Until next time.
Forest
